When Our Skin Is Our Sin

CBE-Voices of Color Chapter

I am black, but [AND] comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept. Song of Songs 1: 5-6

An analysis by Villanova [University] researchers of data from the National Longitudinal Surveys of Youth and the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health indicated that black girls with the darkest skin tones were three times more likely to be suspended than black girls with the lightest skin.”

In our society, we usually see colorism as regulated to beauty and dating choices, but research shows that colorism (defined as a practice of discrimination where those with lighter skin are treated more favorably than those with darker skin)…

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Women in Slavery


In my research and studies about women, I have stumbled across a reality that has shaken me to my core. If you’ve read my posts on The Biblical Role of Women, you are aware that Chavah’s (Eve’s) curse entails men’s propensity toward the domination of women. This wasn’t God’s original design; instead, it is the result of the fallen nature.

Little did I know how rampant this facet of the fallen nature manifests in today’s world. If I asked you what the extreme expression of the fallen nature of Adam is toward Eve, what would it be? I believe that YHWH has shown me the answer even though I never asked the question. The extreme form of the “curse” is abject slavery. More often than not, it is sex slavery.

Did you know that there are more people in slavery today than at any other time in human…

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“Marinated in trauma” – generational transmission of trauma. Diane Langberg & Phil Monroe

A Cry For Justice

When a person’s life is marinated in trauma, that has profound effects on the individual. When a  connected group of people is systemically traumatized (such as the Jews in the holocaust) studies show this has negative effects down several generations. And what if a whole society is systemically traumatizing some of its members?

The three links I’m about to give you are all from the same YouTube video.

Introduction to Trauma Healing— a TV series made for Iranians in which actors depict various Bible stories that relate to trauma. Pretty short; very moving.

Dr Diane Langberg describes what it is like to be ‘marinated in trauma‘ by recounting examples from real people’s lives. She explores the impact of complex trauma on stages of individual and social identity development and how this has an impact on trauma being passed on to the next generation.

Dr Phil Monroe discusses the transmission…

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No Looking Back

 As I looked in the mirror and saw the bunny trails returning, I thought “now what do I do about them” Those dreaded stinking bunny trials. When I got my last Botox injections, I knew it was only temporary, as with the fillers.  Only a temporary fix.  I told my husband and my anti-aging doctor I wanted the lifestyle lift.  It was more permanent than filler and injections and less invasive and expensive than a face lift. Less down time.  Made sense to me.   They both frowned.  So did I. I didn’t call the shots, the one with the money and the one with the needles did.

Here I am, in a shelter for women fleeing domestic abuse worrying about returning bunny trials….how stupid and superficial!  Three times I have left the destructive relationship, two times I have returned due to the financial situation…and dare I look back at the pleasures enjoyed?  The messages, the facials, the access to an anti-aging doctor, a good chiropractor`, manicures, pedicures.  A beautiful house, a house cleaner, good organic food.  Vacations, shopping sprees, what more could a woman want?

Reality.  Damage Control…Therapy, medications, stress so bad the chiropractic adjustments wouldn’t hold, the messages didn’t undo the layers of  knots in my shoulders, the manicures and pedicures were less than what I needed.  Botox and fillers couldn’t erase the added 10 years of aging in the less than 4 years of marriage.  I had to go back the The House.  No amount of exterior excursions could change the fact that I had to go back to The House. To The Abusive Husband.

As I looked at my traumatic chaotic life and the great losses, the Lord said, “do not look back”.  What? Was that You Lord?”  I was unsure. All through the day Lots wife came to my mind.  I pondered why she looked back as the Lord’s angel was delivering her and her family from destruction.  Did she, too, have a leisurely lifestyle and nice pretty clothes and a beautiful home?

I reviewed the reasons I returned to the relationship 2 times previously and also the outcomes of returning. There was no change in him thus no change in the marriage. Since returning from Florida the last time I left him I needed to take Xanax when I knew he was on his way home from the office. I took it on the weekends to keep calm around him.  Depression and anxiety were my everyday norms now. Did I want to continue living like this or was I willing to trust God and let Him lead me on a final Exodus journey into the life He wants me to live. 

This time there was no returning; no looking back. I was wasting my life on an illusion that my husband controlled.  When I pulled aside the illusion and tried to confront his fantasy world all hell broke loose.  I was the crazy one, I was the one on meds, I was the one that twisted things and abused him. I was the one playing the victim…well, no more!  I came to a decision…  No more games, no more lies, no more power and control over me. Enough was enough!

No looking back this time.  So let the bunnies run the trails on my aging face.  May I age gracefully free in the arms of the One who won my freedom.

Spiritual Widows and Orphans

“I’m here, send me!” That was roughly 20 years ago. He called me to tell the truth. I am called to be a truth teller. Like Edward Snowden, the infamous whistle blower, I pretty much lost everything. It costs much to follow Jeshua the Messiah. To tell the truth. It’s a lonely journey, with not many friends. Or people that get you…or why you are sharing so much of your dirty laundry. Why not just move on, forget the past, forgive and forget…

I can’t. Forgive and forget and move on. Forgive, yes, but, forget, sorry, I cannot do that. Move on, yes, I am moving on…at His leading…at His direction…at His beckoning.

I am called to tell the truth…A voice crying in the wilderness. There are other voices crying out in their own wilderness. Can you hear them? Crying, pleading for help with their eyes to anyone who will notice. Those are the voices of the women and children, the widows and the orphans that have been abused, abandoned by the church. Many sit week after week in the churches and synagogues. Many will sit quiet, like submissive wives. Some will smile. Some will tell you that they are “fine”. All the while, she is lying; to the world but mostly to herself To protect herself from the wrath that would come from the captor, her husband. (I am not saying that women cannot be the abuser by the way).

When a person finally cries out for help, the abuse has most likely come to a place where she fears for her life and the life of her children.

Widows and orphans. Crying. Alone. In the desert of their despair. We, who have escaped, we are angry. We are frustrated. We are fed up. And why wouldn’t we be?

We’ve been told for generations to:

Just forget the past and move on. Forgive. Stop being a victim, stop being dramatic, a drama queen as some would call it. Shut up and be quiet, obey the word, women are not to teach, or preach.

They are to be quiet, subservient and to learn from the men.


I am here, send me.

Why Young People are Leaving the Messianic Faith

I, too, am concerned with the ongoing pettiness and I, too, have been shunned, both as an Adventist and now as Hebrew Roots person. I no longer consider myself Hebrew Roots, I left the Seventh Day Adventist Church for various reasons, one was because I stood up and spoke out against the abuses within the home, the collision with the abusers, and the ongoing shunning I experienced due to my message of love to addicts and those bearing the scars of childhood trauma. It seems like its the same game…legalism and shunning…how sad, and the children and watching…porn, abuses, anal about keeping laws and rules with no love…no mercy and grace…that’s why I rebelled as a teen…thanks for the article!

Our Youthful Thinking

We are a unique generation. We are the first generation to be born into the Messianic/Hebraic Roots faith. Many of us having no background or understanding of Christmas, Easter or any other norm of Christianity. We were raised following the commandments. We can quote Torah and debunk the misconception about the law being nailed to the cross. We know all the food commandments and can quickly explain the sheet of unclean entrées in Peter’s dream. We know our Bibles.

But there is a dilemma. There’s a problem. A large number of young people are leaving the Messianic/Hebraic way. Almost every young person I know can name more than a few friends who have walked away. Why are teenagers who grow up immersed in the Bible suddenly leaving as soon as they turn 18?

1. We grew up watching our congregations split multiple times over issues that shouldn’t be issues. As…

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What are you?

My people perish for lack of knowledge….be part of the solution or part of the problem… it’s your choice

A Cry For Justice

Safety is always a priority for victims of domestic abuse, but particularly when the abuser senses the victim may be leaving or distancing herself from him and during the holidays.  We have seen a number of holiday domestic violence and abuse tragedies this past month, so we wanted to remind our readers of our resource pages:  Safety Planning and Cyber Safety and Social Networking. Resources on these pages are from Australia, the US, and across the United Kingdom.

To these resource pages we have recently added the following:

Tech Safety App
By the National Network to End Domestic Violence, Tech Safety has an app which contains information that can help someone identify technology-facilitated harassment, stalking, or abuse and includes tips on what can be done.  Available in English and Spanish.

The Women’s Services Network (WESNET) of Australia
With almost 350 members across Australia, WESNET is a national women’s…

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